Can you have too many?

I just read a story on MSN.com about the Duggar family from Arkansas. Michelle Duggar is pregnant with her 18 child!!! HOLY COW!! I can't even wrap my mind around having one... Let alone 18 (and they want more).

Growing up Mormon you are accustomed to large families (Katie's family has 8 kids). But 18!!!! That is unheard of, even in Utah... Well unless you are a polygamist (which are NOT Mormon), and even then there is more than 1 mother. And this lady has given birth to all of them, no adoption (thoughts of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life where the baby just falls out keep popping into my mind).

This large clan got me thinking... Can you have too many kids? I am the youngest of 5, and I know the joys of having siblings. You always have someone to play with, and when you do something bad you have someone else to blame it on. But at the same time, you have more people to pick on you, tickle you, and take all your stuff (I did this to my sister A LOT). I am not anti big family by any means. I think if you can afford to support a lot of kids, then go for it.

BUT (and this is a big but), just because you can financially support your kids, does that mean you can emotionally support your kids? With that many kids, one mom and dad can't do it on their own. So it falls to the older kids to help take care of the younger ones. Becoming mini parents... Changing diapers, babysitting, doing laundry, making sure their homework is done. Is that fair to them? They have to miss out on normal teenage experiences because mom and dad want more.

And not just that, because maybe the kids like helping, but what about spending quality time with each kid? I can still remember days when I was a kid and would be home from school and spending time with my mom, just the two of us. Or car rides with my dad every morning talking about things that were important to me at the time. Do you think that is possible with that many kids? Say you wanted to spend just 30 minutes a day alone with each child. Well that is 9 hours. And when you have cooking for that many, piano lessons to go to, laundry (they do over 200 loads a week), and other various activities for all the kids, when do you have the time? You don't. Sure home schooling your kids gives you extra time with them, but they are all there... You still can't give them the important 1:1 time that, I believe, all kids need.

Having children, and how many you want to have, is a decision only you and your partner can make. But I think there comes a point where you need to put your own wants a side for a while and think about how it affects the children you already have. I am not condemning them for how many they have, and for wanting more. I know they have their reasons. I guess I just don't understand them. And I am REALLY glad my parents decided to stop with me.

Speaking of mom's... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the mom's out there. Especially my favorite ones.. My mom, Megan, Thelma, Melissa, and Danielle. You guys all do a great job!!!